What the F...?! Where are days 6, 7 & 8?

Here it is about a year and half after the 2012 Cannonball and I am finally finishing the blog. Long story short...Driving in a van with no A/C across the American southwest in late April with temps in the 90's and occasional triple digits made the idea of sitting and collecting my thoughts at my laptop each night a no go.

I thought I would get to it soon after Cannonball but my busy work schedule gave me just enough excuse to put it off until...well, never.

But now I'n registered for the 2014 Cannonball I fell it remiss of me to leave 2012 hangin' on. So I will briefly try to hit the high lights.

DAY 6 - Roswell, NM to Show Low, AZThe word of the day was WINDY. An early portion of the day took us through Hondo, NM which is in Lincoln County. Better known as the setting of Young Guns. We encountered an insane amount of wind and sand that I can only imagine made any riding nearly impossible. We waited it out at a gas station and I got talked up by an interested biker who said he had lived off the grid for more than 30 years. He just criss-crossed on his motorcycle camping. He had interesting conspiracy theories. We crossed the Continental Divide and had some pie at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere. I had a slice of what was considered a local treat. It had peppers and pine nuts. Take my word for it when I say 'noooooooo'. Don't do it.

Scooray low ended pulling into a gravel parking lot for gas. A few bruised ribs but nothing that kept him out of the rest of the ride. That was good news because the trailer was loaded down with dead scoots.

Stu had a novice oil mishap and seized the engine on his brand new SYM RV250. He had changed the oil ridden a little while, realized the oil was over filled and let too much out. He wasn't sure if his oil dummy light was a pressure indicator or a level indicator. His scoot went on GeorgiaGirl's trailer and he rode with her support driver.

Nustar's luggage arrived  via Fedex as expected and he was able to change clothes for the first time in days. Not that he wreaked. He was good about washing his clothes in the sink at night.

 Kraken Master & ScooterChef had uneventful rides and got to enjoy some very beautiful southwest sights.

Sir Paul (gbanks66) had another long day in the saddle. Survived but you could tell he was tiring. Today had some serious elevation gains and his 4.3 hp engine struggled with every bit of it.

One good thing about the elevation was the cool dry air in the evening and morning. But this was the day I finally said bed trumps all and turned in early.

DAY 7 - Show Low, AZ to Parker, AZ (Ground Hogs Inferno)
The day started of so nice. Cool crisp morning with a drive through a National Forest. Many of the riders took advantage of the views and we passed them in the early hours of the day. We had an early lunch @ a McDonalds with Maria and her husband Stacey. They were riding a Majesty 400 and Burgman 650 respectively and were referred to dismissively as 'Tourists' on the Cannonball by some participants. Stacey had cancer and Cannonball was on his bucket list. They were always smiling and enjoying the ride and camaraderie. A few months later Stacey passed. Fuck Cancer and the crappy Chinese scooter it rode in on.

The route took us way up high to the mile high town of Jerome. Jerome is a favorite for bikers because of the view and steep, winding roads leading in and out of town. We had a nice lunch and found our way out the back road. Driving down the road we got the fragrant scent of burning metal. Our brakes were working so much overtime that they were heating up, really really heating up. But with no shoulder, no way to turn around and a line of vehicles behind us we just had to keep going. we finally get to the bottom and my leg is cramping from working the brake.

Just as we're about to head onward we check the location of our various riders and realize the Sir Paul is on the other side of Jerome, way the other side. We try calling him but fail. Kraken informs us that he passed him up an hour ago and that he was having problems. Somewhere in Arizona an Englishman on a very small scooter is lost and we must find him. BEGIN THE LOOP FROM HELL.

It's about 2pm and all we know through Pauls wife posting on ModernVespa.com is that he is broke down on the other side of the brake melting portion of the route near a Dairy Queen. We consult Google maps and decide to take the longer, less steep route around to a cross road we hope he his. our circuitous route takes much longer than we expected and  are misled by some directions via 3rd and 4th party on ModernVespa that has us going back to Jerome.

This time Frank is driving. He is much more trusting in his driving on the curvy climb than I am and I am certain I will die. As this is not a posthumous post you can tell I didn't die but nonetheless I'm certain I had a small coronary.

We've now made the loop twice and we are tired, hot, hungry and feeling not unlike Bill Murray in Groundhogs Day when he first attempts suicide out of desperation. "PLEASE END THIS NOW"
Just before we decide throw in the towel Frank gets a call from Pauls wife. He had walked to a cell phone store and borrowed a charger for his phone and with the little bitty charge he has he calls his wife to pass on his location. I would've called the people in the van but hey that's me. I also grew up driving on the right side of the road.

It turned out that he was further back on the route than we had suspected and 20 miles outside the loop we were looking for him in. When we got to him the Dairy Queen was a combo restaurant that Google maps didn't list as a Dairy Queen. For Fuck's Sake!

It is now 6:30 pm and we are easily 4-5 hours from our hotel rooms in Parker AZ. Since every single other rider is already at the hotel we opt to take the highway to Parker saving us all of 45 minutes.

By the time we rolled in I was falling asleep at the wheel and 95% of the Cannonballers were all in bed. We agreed to sleep in and not worry about hitting the road before 9:30am. I ate from vending machine, passed out and had vivid nightmares of driving of the side of a cliff.

Day 8 - Final Day - Parker AZ to San Diego CA9:30 came way too early. The route took us though Joshua Tree National Park and around the Salton Sea. 2/3 of the day was driving through the fucking desert and I was tired, but the final 3rd of the day was worth it. The State parks had beautiful rolling green valleys that beckoned us to just chill out by a pond and forget the Hell of yesterday. We just took our time and enjoyed the last day. We got to the hotel around 5pm.

A group of us had a final dinner together at Mexican restaurant across the street and I paid the Mariachi band to play a few songs for us.

I sat up talking with Joe (Nustar), Sean (Kraken Master) and Paul (gbanks66) until close to midnight. Kraken is riding in 2014 but I haven't heard from Joe or Paul. I hope to see them but doubt they will make it. Frank, the cantankerous bastard, will definitely be there. It makes me extremely happy to know that. He'll be 64ish this go around.

Two Alumn from the 2012 Scooter Cannonball passed away after fighting their own battles with cancer:
Sergeant Major Stacey Lee Stapleton (Spiff717) &
Janice Ashrat (http://dsscgal.tripod.com/scootergal/id42.html)
There rider numbers have been retired in honor of them.

Keep the rubber side down & LFTO
Chuck

Day 5

Got on the road an hour earlier today. Which makes me very happy. Starting at 9 or 10 am and driving thru the worst part of the day was getting old. I would be happy getting on the road by 7 or 7:30. That would give us a couple of hours of cool weather now that we are in the SouthWest US.

Kraken Master finally got to ride. And other than a quickly remedied mishap with his fuel line has not reported any problems. We leap frogged him a couple of times just trying to stay in a reasonable distance in case something happened. He is riding on a brand new motor and is getting pretty mush all his break in miles in one day. I'm certain he will make some adjustments tonight.

Scooray & ScootChef left early to beat the heat and made it to Roswell without incident and in good times as usual. Modern twist&go scoots are having an easy time of this so far.

We came upon my favorite Cannonballer, Sir Paul, just outside Abilene early in our day. He was only getting a topspeed of about 35 mph and was bogging down severely. We pulled over so he could get at his tools that we carry so that he could remove his airbox. THe new filter wasn't working for him and if there's no filter why have an airbox in the first place. We let get ahead of us about a quarter mile before cathing up and passing him. As we approached he got into a tuck position and threwhis legs back so his toes were by his tail light. It looked like a cafe racer or jockey postion. We didn't get a picture. It would have been a priceless picture.

15 miles into New Mexico, in the town of Tatum, we found ScootRaton sitting under a tree between the Municipal bldg. and the gas station working on his scoot. He stopped to get some gas real fast (Splash&Dash) couldn't start his engine afterward. He replaced the top end of his motor in Lufkin yesterday and can't be sure what the cause his. Frank & NuStar tried to give him a bump start but nothing happened. So we, not being the types to leave a scooterists behind, loaded him on to the now full trailer and gave him a ride to the final stop.

While in Tatum an interesting local came riding up on him homemade moped, cobbeled together from old dirt bike parts and a Schwinn bicycle. He couldn't get a license so he went with a low displacement vehicle instead.

Kraken Master made it in at around 5:30pm. Welcomed by applause by the Cannonballers present. Everyone was glad to see him finally join the event after 4 days of no riding and entirely too many hours wrenching.

Sir Paul arriving after 17 hours in the saddle.

At 6:45p Frank received a garbled voicemail from Sir Paul. All we could make out after several listenings was "heat...tumbleweed...wild west...few hours". Images of an overheating scooter being attacked or chased by tumbleweeds somewhere near the Texas/New Mexico border came to mind. We interpretted the voicemail to mean that we could expect him around 8:45-9 o'clock. By 9:30 we thought about backtracking along the route to see if we could find him. Perhaps guide him in since we know he has a shitty headlight. Nerves got twitchier as we waited. Finally at 10pm on the dot he rolls in and with a short victory lap announces that his time for the day was 17 hours on the scooter. Turns out he had to clean his carburator twice and that the vibration of all the riding had caused the tip of his spark plug to unscrew part way. He had misfires for some time before he figured it out. It's a shame that no one sees him come in and therefore don't understand the challenges he is overcoming in finishing each day. And every mile is on a full stock 1966 motor scooter. None of the other 'vintage' scooters can say that.

Sir Paul (GBanks66) outside Abilene.

ScootRaton, his copilot Alf, NuStar & Frank in Tatum,NM. Note the beer in Frnks hand, the towns municpal bldg is just to the right out of frame 10feet away.

Day 4

Today the Cannonballers got a rude introduction to Texas heat. After 3 days of cool weather from a front that blew thru the south east the riders left the piney woods of Texas and rode into a wall of heat on their way to Abilene. While we drove we watched the thermostat inch menacingly toward 107 degrees with mean winds from the south.The wind is harsh enough, now add dehydration.

Nustar1 had a catastrophic engine failure 2 miles from today's finish and is done with the Cannonball. Though he may be hitching a ride with a friend on his Suzuki 650. To add insult to injury the person in charge of carting his luggage forgot to pick it up at his hotel before leaving Lufkin. That forgetful idiot is now paying to have it delivered to Show Low, AZ Friday morning. And that idiot is ME! I feel like shit.but my wallet is taking care of it. He is not angry thankfully. Just rolling with the punches.

Kraken Master is still working on his scoot. I will go down later and check on it. I just too tired to hang out and watch guys wrench in this still oppressive heat even at 10pm.

Other than that I haven't heard of anyone dropping out.

A bunch of the riders will probably be on the rode by 5am. They have 321 miles to ride. If they leave at 5am and average 55 mph they can be in Roswell, NM before noon. The forecasted record breaking heat will start setting in by 9am. I hope they heed the advice being offered.

Finally, I would like to talk about my favorite character from the Cannonball. In every sport there is an underdog that through displays of tenacity, humor and a daring spirit wins the hearts of fans who will root them on in face of impossible odds. For the 2012 Scooter Cannonball that honor goes to GBanks66, or as he his called by some Sir Paul. An Englishman that came to America 22 years ago so he wouldn't have to be just Paul the Welder. Every morning he sets out on his 1966 Sears Blue-Badge Vespa, with its whopping 120cc 4.3hp engine. Painted in the colors of his hometown football team (Soccer to we Americans) and sporting a 60's era Kawasaki windscreen. His rides take from 10 to 12 hours with top speeds on the flats approaching 43 mph. Despite the long hours, hot miles and what has to be an ass killing seat he is always cheerful and laugh inducing. Forget times, points, handicaps and all that shite. Sir Paul is a Champion with a capital C.

Frank & Kraken wrenching away.

'46 Salsbury with a 7 gallon gas tank and a Ninja 250cc engine. He can quit today and still win.

nustar1 on ground in ball cap surveying damage to the Passport. "It's dead Jim"

Sir Paul (GBanks66) using a Dawn dish scrub pad as an air filter. He's British w/ an eye patch. Cannonball Baby! 

Sir Paul's gas cork. What else is an Eglishman to use?

Day 3

Well...lets see...

nothing happened with our crew. Everyone still riding made it in good time with no injuries or mechanical problems.

Kraken Master had more problems getting his scoot to run. That means no riding on the first 3 days of the Cannonball. No real chance to make up the points but with so much invested whats a man to do? Buy a new motor online in Dallas and have it delivered to Lufkin that what. It is being installed as I type.

The nice weather of the last few days is likely to get hot now that we are heading to Abilene and further westward. Part of my prep tomorrow morning will be to have plenty of water in case we encounter riders in need. A lot of them are from the northeast and may not realize they are dehydrated until its too late.

Day 2

Today the first rule of Scooter Cannonball was broken. DON'T WRECK.

On the way to the final checkpoint Gorilla Bobber skidded off the rode and collided with a road side sign. Like a Yield sign or such. His Burgman 400 is totaled and he went to the hospital. Talk among Cannonballers is 17 or 70 stitches. Gossip exagerates everything...I hope. Either way it sucks that any one would be injured.

I wish you well Gorilla Bobber. Hope to ride with you in 2014.

As for the riders I'm supporting...

Kraken Master figured out the carb issue, got the short taken care of, BUT had a timing issue develop that kept him from riding. Dammit! Can't this guy catch a break. And so again he rode in the van lamenting the clear weather, smooth roads and beautiful scenery.

Nustar1 had his air filter catch fire at the first checkpoint in Camden AL. Best guess is some gas backfired into the filter and was ignited by the heat of the engine. WooHoo! CANNONfireBALL!!
Luckily we were within 30 min of him. We backtracked and found him at a True Value store wher he got a couple of pieces of PVC pipe, a rubber hose and some JB Weld to make a step up adapter so the tractor filter he bought would fit. Our only purpose in being there wound up being to make MacGuyver jokes, take pictures and add to the oddity show for the locals to watch. Anyway the filter worked and he and his riding partner ThatScooterGuy made it safely thru the rest of the day.

Scooray finished in his leisurely style and time. pst...hey Scooray you do know its a race, right?

Scooter Chef had a good finishing time but with her handicap stands in the middle of the pack. Big, new scoots are at a known disadvantage with the handicapping system. But I think there are side bets going for many of the large disadvantaged scoots.

Frank Tabor had a good day making excellent time, 8 miles from the days finish when the Gods of Cannonball decided in their malevolent way to say BAM! FUCK YOU FRANK! and seized his motor. Actually it was just the Genuine Stella lower piston bearing going out at their prescribed 5000 miles. A known problem that Frank was not prepared for. He says he's done for the cannonball but some of us are trying to get him to fix it in Abilene and riding the rest for the experience. But since he's already ridden dual sport motorcycles in South America experience is hardly something he needs. "If I can't win, Fuck it" is his answer. Now I get to drive a van cross country with the owner sitting next to me. Thankfully Frank is cool and I'm having a great time.

Day 1 summary

The Cannonball started off on the waterfront on River street in Savanah. 55 riders gathered at 6am, got last minute pics and vids, and after a short speech by organizor Patrick (OopsClunkThud) the riders began to depart in small groups over about a 20 minute period. According to the icons on FollowRide.com the groupings were maintained throughout the day. Spreading out as one would expect with the various sized engines (46cc - 650).

Day 1 was fairly uneventful for our team. Unfortunately very uneventful for Sean, the Kraken Master. He finally got his 1979 P200 to start in the morning but it was running too rough and and seemed flooded after a few minutes. He decided to trailer it on day 1 and work on the carb in the evening. In the evening he made made some progress but started blowing fuses. Expect he will trailer on day 2 as well.

Frank made excellent time on his Stella and could've done better if he hadn't had to double back for a missed checkpoint. He was in 17th after day 1. I expect his endurance riding experience will help him improve that position easily.

Bill Dog showing some love to his Vespa at the starting line. "Please baby, don't fail me now".

Stu looking very TRON. Camera flash is a food way to test the visibility of your reflective strips.

Savannah starting live at 6am.

Franks navigation notes written on his wind screen. He missed one checkpoint but otherwise had a good run on Day 1 w/ his Stella

The support van was riding low. Lots of mudflap scraping during the day.

Alabama "blue laws" restriciting sale of alcohol on Sunday is easily negated by a 20 mile detour and a $3 ice chest.

Country's Restaurant in Troy , AL serves up some great ice tea (of course its sweet) and the Dream Pie (custard loveliness) was Dre-ee-eamy! 

Day 0 addendum

Cannonballers continued to arrive into the evening at the official motel, the Thunderbird Inn, until the parking lot was overflowing with scooters and support vehicles. The entire motel was full with just Cannonball crew which means every single room is vacant and needing new linen and full service at the same damn time.
Sean had a new motor put into his Vespa P200 a week ago and he hadn't broke it in yet. He discovered on Day 0 that it wouldn't start. He and Star worked on it all day and were still at it when I went to my room at 10pm. Earlier in the evening they had to quickly relocate the repair efforts to a covered sidewalk when the first of several expected rainshowers pored down on on the festivities.
I was amazed at how many riders were using low tech solutions for navigation. GeorgiaGirl was writing directions on strips of masking tape and putting it on the inside left portion of her windscreen. Frank Tabor used a dry erase marker and wrote his directly on the windscreen. Several experienced Cannonballers were using the paper scroll nav chart method that Bagels was using so I guess its not such a crazy idea after all.